Married 24 years, no kids. We realized that my husband is an alcoholic about 7 years ago. A very successful man, life fell apart. He went through 3.5 years of "trying" to get sober - a nightmare of constant relapsing - life was horrible. I left, legally. He hit bottom hard - could've died, had an epiphany, mended his life. I went to Alanon and was in therapy, worked on myself. We got back together almost a year later. 2.5 years sober, life was wonderful. I love him. Smart, talented, kind, generous, evolved, patient. We work for each other on many levels. A year ago, death in his family = relapse. He went back to AA. Now, just found a bottle of booze and he's admitted he's been drinking again for months. I couldn't tell.
I'm now in my late 50's. I've grown, love my life, my friends, my home, my husband. I don't have a career but very busy and focused on that. What frightens me the most is that when I found the alcohol, the excuses, the conversation - were verbatim. It feels like there has been no growth. Tons of growth on other levels of life, but this? His first comment/excuse, after lying about drinking, was that this wasn't really a relapse because he was not drinking to the point of getting drunk. He knows better. He goes to AA 3 days a week and has still been drinking. I told him that in order for me to stay, he needs to do more, up the ante, get more help and he refuses. He's already had rehab, therapy at leading hospital, anti-alcohol drugs and antidepressants, hypnosis, AA, counseling, sponsor - you name it. He's tried it all. He says that the only person who can stop him from drinking is himself and NOW he's going to do it. (which in the past he describes as a "dry drunk") As I'm deciding what I'M going to do - if I could see growth, I'd feel more hopeful. I'm talking about that deep growth, where we're all actually able to change.
For me? Stay with the man that I love and I will, without that growth, in all likelihood be facing this again at 70. And 80. And spiral again into that horrible abyss, kill him and destroy our life. Leave and I leave my best friend, will have to start from scratch financially, and accept that I may be alone for the rest of my life. Sad to go, sad to stay. I'll start therapy next week.
Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences that might help me see through this? Thank you!
Source: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/267691-merry-go-round.html
dallas fort worth airport texas tornados seattle seahawks new uniforms wisconsin recall wisconsin recall doris day buffalo sabres
কোন মন্তব্য নেই:
একটি মন্তব্য পোস্ট করুন